The Shitty of Hamilton Sends the
SS Police to My House about the Motorless Home
I don't understand this. The Motorless Home has been sitting behind my house since the winter of 2012. In all that time, it has never moved on its own power. This is because when I bought it, it blew up.
You may recall a FaceBook post a while back when I was working on the Jeep to make it roadworthy. I had removed the damaged bumper and quarter panels from it and was working on the repairs. Some asshat called the Shitty of Hamilton Health Department on me for having a "junk vehicle" in my yard. My solution to the problem with the Jeep was to put it in the garage until the repairs were completed.
I was all set to post about having gotten the transmission out today. I was exiting the motorhome to clean up my tools and saw the police cruiser in the alley behind my house. I approached and asked them if I could help them.
They told me that they were here on behalf of the
Führer Health Department. The told me that they had been dispatched to serve me with papers for having illegal books a junk vehicle on the premises. They handed me a document regarding the laws against being a Jew the ordinance about junk vehicles.
Well, according to the definition laid out in this document, the Motorless Home is a "junk vehicle." So was the Jeep at the time I got the notice about it, too.
Well, the Motorless Home is just a teeeeeeny bit too big to put into my garage.
So, how can I handle this? Of course the
enforcers officers would come after the Health Department closes. I explained to them that I was actively working on this motorhome, and that it is not derelict. I told them about the Jeep and that I had put it in my garage -- they agreed with me that I wasn't going to shoehorn this thing into the garage.
I told them that this thing has been here for over a year with nobody saying anything, and now that I start actively trying to make it roadworthy,
Der Reichstag the City of Hamilton steps in and tells me I have to remove it.
The Police gave me the name of the person I need to speak to at the Health Department. Cindy Hogg. Wow. What a name.
I called and left a message for Ms. Hogg. I explained that I am working on a motorhome and that there is absolutely no way I can put it in the garage. I asked her to please call me back so that we can discuss this.
Hopefully, there will be a positive resolution to this. I've already been looking into ways that I may be able to get around the silly ordinance.
You can see a reference in section (b)(1) on the first page, they talk about a collectors's vehicle being exempt from the provisions of this ordinance. They specifically refer to ORC §4501.01(F). Here's the relevant text, links and emphasis added by me:
|(F) "Collector's vehicle" means any motor vehicle or agricultural tractor or traction engine that is of special interest, that has a fair market value of one hundred dollars or more, whether operable or not, and that is owned, operated, collected, preserved, restored, maintained, or used essentially as a collector's item, leisure pursuit, or investment, but not as the owner's principal means of transportation. "Licensed collector's vehicle" means a collector's vehicle, other than an agricultural tractor or traction engine, that displays current, valid license tags issued under section 4503.45 of the Revised Code, or a similar type of motor vehicle that displays current, valid license tags issued under substantially equivalent provisions in the laws of other states.|
4503.45 [Effective Until 7/1/2013] Collector's vehicle license.
An owner of a collector's vehicle, upon complying with the motor vehicle laws relating to registration and licensing of motor vehicles, and upon payment of the regular license fee as prescribed under section 4503.04 of the Revised Code and any tax levied under section 4504.02 or 4504.06 of the Revised Code, and the payment of an additional fee of five dollars, which shall be for the purpose of compensating the bureau of motor vehicles for additional services required in the issuing of such licenses, shall be issued validation stickers and license plates, or validation stickers alone when required by section 4503.191 of the Revised Code, upon which, in addition to the letters and numbers ordinarily inscribed thereon, shall be inscribed the words "collector's vehicle."
4503.45 [Effective 7/1/2013] Collector's vehicle license.
An owner of a collector's vehicle, upon complying with the motor vehicle laws relating to registration and licensing of motor vehicles, and upon payment of the regular license fee as prescribed under section 4503.04 of the Revised Code and any tax levied under Chapter 4504. of the Revised Code, and the payment of an additional fee of five dollars, which shall be for the purpose of compensating the bureau of motor vehicles for additional services required in the issuing of such licenses, shall be issued validation stickers and license plates, or validation stickers alone when required by section 4503.191 of the Revised Code, upon which, in addition to the letters and numbers ordinarily inscribed thereon, shall be inscribed the words "collector's vehicle."
Amended by 130th General Assembly File No. 7, HB 51, §101.01, eff. 7/1/2013.
So... Looks like I may have to declare this vehicle to be a collectors item. Now, to look up what qualifies as a collector's vehicle.
According to the BMV, they get to decide if a vehicle is collectible. I'm hoping that since this is a motorhome, it will be easy to do. Unfortunately, it looks like I have to pay "crony tax" to find out. What's a crony tax? When the state requires that you purchase some commercial product in order to find out if your motorhome is collectible. Somebody stands to make money off me from this. Probably some lobbyist.
Hopefully I won't have to go through all this, and there will be some way that I can satisfy the City.
Ugh. Can I please move to Texas now? I know that I will still have to deal with government out there, but somehow, I think they would like the fact that I'm working on my motorhome to improve it, rather than give me shit for trying to fix something.
Our disposable society has gone all the way to the top. We're no longer allowed to repair anything; it's unsightly. "Eww. Yuck. Who would want to 'fix' that? Are you some kind of hick? Why don't you just pile this thing on top of the landfill and just go buy a new one?"